i always will {han}

[Hanners]

Quinn couldn't sleep, not yet...not for a while. It was all too surreal for her, listening to the gentle creaking of the train car as they shared the blankets. They had cuddled for a little while, but she'd pulled away like she'd been doing quite a lot lately, just staying on her own side and his hand would wrap around her as if he expected her to run away again. Maybe he did. Maybe he should. She lay awake, staring up into the darkness, his hand a surprising comfort.

He chased away the nightmares, even if he couldn't chase away her insomnia. She moved just a little, a small wiggle to get comfortable under the covers, as the mattress conformed to her shape. Her long red hair fell over her shoulders as she rolled onto her stomach, ears peeking out from the long locks as she inched a little closer. She could hear his steady breathing, the light snore that let her know that he was pretty deep in his sleep.

A slight smile touched her lips, the outline of his face coming into focus even in the deep darkness. Her free hand reached across to his face, fingers drifting down the line of his jaw, feeling the slight stubble over the sides. She was silent for a few heartbeats; before she opened her mouth and began to whisper.

"Thank you Desi. Thank you for bringing me home, for not giving up on me even when you should have. Thank you for being here, for not letting the...ghosts get me." She smiled a little wider. He'd picked up that she was being haunted by something, though maybe a ghost wasn't quite the right word. She shifted a little more, holding her hair back so it wouldn't tickle his face and wake him up. Her lips trembled a little as she got closer to his, ghosting a kiss onto his sleeping lips.

"I love you." She whispered just inches away from his mouth. She was open because he was sleeping, because he wouldn't know what she'd said. "I don't know when it happened, but I do. I'm scarred to love you, but I do. I love you." Quinn shuffled back down, resting her head on his shoulder, pressing her nose up into the crook of his neck. She got her hand free, curling up, and draped her other arm across his chest, holding onto his other shoulder. It was only then that she noticed....he wasn't sleeping...not anymore.

[Tonjes]

Subject: Tonjes
Year: 22

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Every breath felt like it would be my last, the struggling fight of my lungs seemingly at its end. I was sick, and yet they did not care; they never had before but this was worse than any sort of sickness that I had felt before. I was warm, something that should have been welcoming if I hadn't known that the room was freezing cold. They left the windows open all of the time, the thick mesh covering them letting the air in but not letting me out. It helped with the smells, smells that I could no longer sense.

My hair was heavy and matted, covering my eyes so that I could not see but I knew it was night. My arms and legs ached from the bruises that Father has left on me for the night. He is the worst of them, his heavy hands like iron across my back, battering me until I am nothing of a fight for my own Mother. She forces me to eat, even though I wish to die, her fingers pry open my mouth and force whatever is left of the dog scraps. I am last to eat, even after the animals outside. My throat aches for water, but I know better than to try to get their attention.

The quiet in the house means that they all are sleeping, so I will have to wait and hope for water in the morning. It's too hot to sleep, and I cough, clamping my hands over my mouth to keep it quiet. If I wake them, they will hurt me again. My leg, it is the worst of my injuries; I fear he broke the bone several nights ago; and it is heavily bruised from what I can tell with my finger tips.

Quietly, I drag myself farther away from the window, panting as I curl up in my sleeping corner. I know this room better than anything else in my life, know just how many steps to take even though I can not hardly see. I curl up, pulling the thin fabric of my nightdress down; laying down as best as I can manage and hope for sleep to find me. Death to find me. Please, no more.