Post by dolly on Jan 11, 2011 13:45:49 GMT -5
Alone
From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were — I have not seen
As others saw — I could not bring
My passions from a common spring —
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow — I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone —
And all I lov'd — I lov'd alone —
Then — in my childhood — in the dawn
Of a most stormy life — was drawn
From ev'ry depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still —
From the torrent, or the fountain —
From the red cliff of the mountain —
From the sun that 'round me roll'd
In its autumn tint of gold —
From the lightning in the sky
As it pass'd me flying by —
From the thunder, and the storm —
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view —
From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were — I have not seen
As others saw — I could not bring
My passions from a common spring —
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow — I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone —
And all I lov'd — I lov'd alone —
Then — in my childhood — in the dawn
Of a most stormy life — was drawn
From ev'ry depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still —
From the torrent, or the fountain —
From the red cliff of the mountain —
From the sun that 'round me roll'd
In its autumn tint of gold —
From the lightning in the sky
As it pass'd me flying by —
From the thunder, and the storm —
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view —
This is a poem by Edgar Allen Poe, one of the most famous American writers on the face of the Earth (at least in my opinion.) I'm surprised I even remember these lines, since it has been so long since I have picked up my book of poems and read them on my own accord. It's been so long since I have read, or written for that matter, anything entirely with the extreme lack of books here in this nightmarish hospital.
However, I digress. This poem, I think, is the best way to describe how I am feeling now, on my 18th birthday. I suppose I expected more on the day when I finally turn into an adult. Maybe I expected to spend it with Dai or, even better, my family whom I haven't seen in eight years. But no, today, on the day celebrating my birth, I find myself trapped in a medical prison filled with horrible monsters that disturb my vision each day.
Though I guess it could be much worse. I have been trapped here for several months with the only contact being these creatures that call themselves "Viruses," and they have yet to cause me any harm. Though, I do suppose that could be because of Aeron. He keeps intruding Viruses and other creatures (who Aeron refuses to inform me about) from reaching my room on the fourth floor. I guess I should thank him for it. I mean, if not for him I would probably be ripped into little pieces by his "friends" that lurk the desolate halls with him.
...I wish I could speak to him, give him my thanks (and also a piece of my mind for keeping me chained to this Godforsaken bed.) Part of me wishes I could tell him it was my birthday, too. Maybe he would know what a birthday was and actually let me outside as a small gift. But alas, I know very well that it could never happen; he is far to afraid that I would run away and not return to him (in which case he would be correct.) At least I found this pad to write on. Now I can write down all the things I wish I could say.
...
Reminder to myself:
Find a good place to hide this from Aeron so he doesn't do something terrible to it. It's my only escape from this neverending silence.