Lay Me Down to Sleep

[Adelina Russovo]

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[bg=ffffff][atrb=background,http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i319/sketchedesigns/linatablewhitebg.png] Adelina had fallen asleep only moments ago after rocking her ailing baby to sleep, her trembling voice singing a quiet lullaby. Reagan had been running a slight temperature and hadn't stopped crying the entire night, her coughing fits that she had been developing for several weeks finally settling down as she drifted off to sleep. Adelina had fallen onto the mattress next to Adison and quickly passed out into a well-earned sleep. However, her rest was fitful and tortured - nameless and faceless demons snapping at her heels as she fled from them, Reagan clutched against her. She was wailing, screaming at the top of her lungs as Adelina tried to protect her, hurtling down tunnels of pitch darkness to escape the beasts behind her. The terror was overwhelming, Reagan's wails turning into the sickening cough that had plagued the small train car for weeks. Adelina had tried healers and remedies and finally, her fever had broken late at night and her coughs had settled down. But her screams and cries echoed in her mind still as she slept, the dark tunnels seeming to close in on her as she reached a dead end - the howling of the beasts, the dark whispers, Reagan's screams all reached a deafening roar around her. They rose and rose and never fell, surrounding her in a head-splitting crescendo, wrenching her heart in two. The noise grew and grew until suddenly, it ceased altogether. Adelina woke with a jolt, brow covered in sweat. She noticed the break of dawn through the window. The soft breathing of Adi beside her. But it was the silence that had woken her - the sickening, deafening silence. "Reagan..." Adelina choked out, frantically scrambling out of bed, geting tangled in the sheets she fell to the ground and cut her palm. It didn't deter her and she didn't notice the sharp slice of pain as she lurched to her feet and flew to Reagan's cradle. "Oh, God. Oh, God!" She cried, the silence overwhelming as she stared down into the crib at Reagan's still body. "Reagan, no!" A sound unlike any she had ever made slipped from her throat, a raw, primitive wail that rose and scathed the very air it rode upon as Adelina picked up her baby's body, cradling it close as if she could still save her. But it was too late - too late. The child she had never wanted, the baby she had grown to love, was gone. ooc; ...D:

[Adison Sotero]

[atrb=width,467,true][atrb=border,0,true][bg=b37043] For the first time in his life, Adison’s dreams were less like nightmares and more like fairy tales, where everyone got a happily ever after. Instead of re-living painful memories as he usually did, he found himself in a world of just him, Adelina, and Reagan. Adison lived an entire lifetime in his dreams, watching as his family grew older together. Reagan grew from a tiny baby into a little girl, ducking behind the train car they called home in a game of hide and seek. Even as he and Adelina struggled to take care of her while they were awake, at night Adison always pictured their future together, and he knew it would all be worth it. Other nights he dreamt that she was old enough to be a part of the Ring, and together he and Lina taught her to scout and hunt and defend herself; she would be amazing, he knew it. That was the dream Adison was having this night. He saw Reagan’s skills grow, until she could even beat her parents at their own tricks, and though Adison would normally be furious at being beaten, he was beaming with pride instead. This was who his little girl would grow up to be. A sudden sound woke Adison from his happy sleep. He sat up with a jolt, trying to make sense of the noise that was still echoing in his ears. He rubbed lazily at his eyes and looked over towards Lina, when a deep, unsettling chill ran down his spine. Adison was immediately awake and on his feet, rushing to Adelina’s side. “What? What’s wrong with her?” He demanded as he raced over to the baby’s crib. Just looking at her said it all; the gentle glow of her cheeks had faded, and her skin was a sickly pallor that Adison knew was just… wrong. But she had been fine just before he’d gone to sleep! The Carna, who almost never cried, felt tears welling up in his eyes as the reality of it all settled in on him. Their baby was gone, their future together with her, and he’d been asleep. “No…No, Reagan!” Adison cried, his voice shaking with his sorrow. He threw his arms around Adelina and pulled her and the baby close, but little comfort came from it. How would they go on without her? ------------------------------------------- “It’s done,” Adison spoke, his voice barely above a whisper as he stared down at the tiny grave that they never should have needed to dig. He still had trouble coming to terms with the fact that Reagan, who had become the brightest light in his life, was suddenly gone. Adison turned away from the shady tree they’d buried her under and looked out over the clear pool at the heart of the oasis. This place had so many memories in it, and Adison only wished Reagan had been able to see it for herself. “She would have loved this place,” He sighed, turning back to Adelina. Adison pulled her into another embrace and rested his tear-stained cheek on her shoulder. There were no words to express the pure agony he still felt, though he tried to hide it for Lina, and he had long run out of tears, so he simply remained silent and held her close. Ooc: BAWW. Dx

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[Adelina Russovo]

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[bg=ffffff][atrb=background,http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i319/sketchedesigns/linatablewhitebg.png] She stood staring blankly down at the fresh grave beneath the shady tree, unable to do anything except clutch at the small handful of dirt she held in her fist. Adelina didn't want to let her go - no, she couldn't. Burying her would be the last admittance that Reagan was gone. "It's done." In that moment as she stood next to Adison with his arms wrapped around her, she would have given anything to have Reagan back. But she was gone. As Adelina stared down at the grave and with a choking sob let the last handful of dirt fall to their daughter's small grave. To hear her sweet laughter, the gentle sound of her sleeping. But Reagan was dead. Leaning into Adison's hug she knew she should try to comfort him, some small touch - but she couldn't bring herself to. She felt weak, like her body wasn't really hers anymore. Like she was just inhabiting some husk. Fresh tears continued to roll down her cheeks as she played all of her memories with Reagan over and over in her mind. She thought on how sweet she looked when she slept, how small and beautiful she was in comparison to the bloody world that thrived around them. Adelina had always been so proud that one good thing had come out of The Menagerie. One small, good thing that she'd been able to bring into this world despite the odds. But now, as Adelina's eyes drifted along the rippling waters of the oasis, she realized a truth. She realized that she had loved Reagan from the day she had been born - an instantaneous connection between mother and child. A love so strong that she had thought such a thing impossible for her to feel - not even her love for Adison could rival the love she had felt, and still felt, for Reagan. She loved Reagan, heart and soul. But the sudden truth came down upon her full force, a crushing truth that left her struggling for air, for clarity, for...forgiveness. It was her fault Reagan was dead. From the day she had learned she was pregnant, Adelina had been trying to get rid of Reagan. She had never wanted to get pregnant, never wanted to have a child. She had hated the thing growing inside her, loathed it and tried time and time again to put herself and her baby in harms way. That...that was why Reagan had been born early, and born so weak. That was why she had gotten sick so easily, even with all the care they took. It was Adelina's fault her baby daughter had died, and nothing would ever make up for that. Sickened, Adelina pulled away from Adison. "I can't do this," she breathed out, her body suddenly starting to shake violently. She fell to her knees by Reagan's grave, her breath coming out in half-choked sobs. "I can't. Every time I see you, I'll...I'll think about her. I'm so sorry, Adi, I just..." she couldn't even look at him, the guilt suffocating her even now as she tortured and suffered underneath it's powerful pull. There was no forgiveness for what she had done. Even if Adison forgave her, which she doubted he would, she would never forgive herself. "Please, Adi. Just...just go." She was shaking violently, cowering from fear and judgement and guilt and a sorrow so deep that she thought she'd never be happy again. She looked up to Adison one last time, tears stained with cheeks with an expression that defined desperation. With one last, trembling breath she said,"Just go." And looked away, hoping never to see his face again - not because she didn't love him, if anything she loved him even more so. She just couldn't bare seeing Reagan in him. Adelina turned away, knowing that her life would never be the same without her Reagan. ooc; ...even more D:

[Adison Sotero]

[atrb=width,467,true][atrb=border,0,true][bg=b37043] Adison held Adelina close, scared to let go of her. She was all he had left; somehow, after Reagan was born, Adison had realized that they were his whole world. Before Adelina, his life had revolved around the Carna, and though he was still a loyal ringmember, Reagan and Lina had taken precedence, and Adison had been missing patrols as he tried to go back and forth between the Fallen and Carna every day. It had been worth it though, no matter how bone-tired Adison was at the end of the day, just to see Reagan and her infectious smile, and to watch Adelina smile with her. Adison felt his chest tighten with another wave of sadness as he realized that he would never see Reagan’s smile again. And Adelina’s? He felt like neither of them would ever smile again. As he moved to squeeze Lina even tighter, she suddenly pulled away from him, leaving Adison staring at her in bewilderment. “Lina, what--,” he began, but she spoke before he could say any more. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Adison stood and watched as she fell to her knees beside the grave, obviously in pain like he was… but she was pushing him away. As if it hadn’t been hard enough losing his daughter, now Adelina was telling him to leave. Though he thought he had no tears left to cry, Adison felt a fresh wave of tears welling up. He held them back, even as he was flooded with a whirlwind of emotions; he still felt the fresh agony of Reagan’s death, and now the sting of betrayal as Adelina pushed him away, and even rage boiling in the pit of his stomach. The most overwhelming though, was emptiness. He’d lost everything that mattered now. “Fine,” He replied, his voice flat as he addressed her. Instead of pulling together to get through this, Adelina didn’t want to see him; Adison shoved his own emotions aside and shifted into his tiger form. He took off at a sudden start, pushing past her and knocking her over carelessly as his paws pounded against the sand. Adison headed for the Carna, refusing to look back. Ooc: Short but DDD8. Done?

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