Wayward [Adi]

[Adelina Russovo]

She woke up feeling like she wanted to scream; the air was caught in her lungs, bubbling up her throat and itching to claw its way out. She clenched her teeth around the scream, trying to ignore the vicious throbs of pain coming from her arm and ankle, and with enormous effort managed to open her eyes. The world was a swirling chasm of colors and lights and her body felt heavy, as if she had been tied down. She thought for one long, terrible moment that the Carna had found her and had tied her up, waiting to begin their torture for what she had done. She listened hard, closing her eyes because the hazy swirl that was the world made her dizzy. But no sounds greeted her, no harsh voices crying for her head on a pike, no ominous rattle of chains or the sharpening of knives. Was she safe, then? The last thing she remembered was her fingers sliding from the hilt of the dagger still stuck in Manic's back, Adison's scream... She realized with a start that Adison's scent was fresh and heavy in whatever room they were in, so fresh that he must still be in the room. She tried to steady her shallow breathing in hopes that it would clear the haze from her head, but found that a broken rib (quite a familiar pain) kept her from breathing any deeper. She cracked an eye open and then the other, the world slowly coming into focus and was surprised to see a blanket of stars coloring a sky of beautiful golds, reds, pinks. It took her a moment to realize that she wasn't outside, that somebody had painted those skies, and that she was looking at the ceiling. She had half hoped she was outside, where the air would at least be fresh and healing. In here it was stifled and hot, and stank of blood and sweat. And Adi. She steeled herself against the incoming pain and with a quick breath she sat herself upright. Her head swam and she nearly threw up, every inch of her body protesting with various twinges and complaints. She scratched absently at her hair, grimacing when her fingers brushed up against a bandage. Shit. He really did a number on me, she thought, grimacing. She'd never been outmatched that easily before. She knew now why Manic had held his position in the dome for so long, he was a swift and powerful force that once unleashed could hardly be stopped; as her eyes connected with Adison's at last, she felt a hollow desperation for him. His father had been a monster, and for the life of her Adelina could not believe that Adison was made of the same stuff. He was so deeply loving, one of the purest souls she had ever come across in this world. But as she looked into his pale eyes, her blood threatened to freeze in her veins. She couldn't see anything in his eyes; no warmth, no spark of her usual Adi. She saw a hollowness, cold and empty and as she watched him watching her, an uncomfortable feeling ran down her spine. The feeling she got when a predator had fixed her with its gaze. She swallowed hard, hand instinctively reaching for her knife sheaths while she kept her eyes glued to him. I killed his father. I took away his future, and everything he has ever known. She couldn't find her knives anywhere, the alarm bells ringing even louder in her ears. Adison was still looking at her with those void hollows, saying nothing. Just sitting, watching, waiting. She didn't know what he was going to do. "He was going to kill you," she said, voice cracking. "I had to do it, Adi. I had to."

[Adison Sotero]

Nothing had gone as they’d planned. Adi had played the events of that day over and over in his head every waking hour since, which had been all of them; he hadn’t slept since, and he felt exhausted, weak, and hollow. But his mind still combed through all of the details, wondering where they had gone wrong. Eventually he had come to accept that it wasn’t the events of that day at all that had set them down this painful, blood-drenched path. No, over the past two days Adison had realized that from the moment he’d wanted his father’s approval, he had been set on this course with no chance of diverting from it. After he’d rooted out the problem of course, he had begun to think about all of his choices, every foul deed he’d done, and all the time he had wasted chasing a dream that he could never catch. One that he didn’t want to catch anymore, even if it were possible. The thought of going back to the Carna Ring made his stomach turn. There were too many memories there; too many things to remind him of what a fool he was. So he sat up against the door of the small room in Studio Ess, staring at the only person he had left. He’d watched her day and night, ever since he’d brought her here and had the flighty little studio-keeper woman fix her up as best she could. Adison wasn’t sure how practiced of a healer she was, but together they did everything they could to mend Adelina’s broken body. The first night was the worst; her breath was shallow and ragged and he thought without a doubt that he was going to watch her slip away. But she pulled through, as Adelina always did. Adison didn’t notice her sit up at first. He was so lost in his thoughts and exhaustion that not even the groan of the cot or her sharp intake of breath had caught his ear. "He was going to kill you. I had to do it, Adi. I had to." Adi slowly got to his feet. He either didn’t have the energy left in him to open his mouth, or he was just too shocked and relieved to speak. He walked over to her, slowly, painfully, until he finally sat on the edge of the cot. He stared at her a few more moments, not knowing what to say. She was right of course. Adison knew that. But hearing it aloud cemented the fact that this was real and not a nightmare as he’d begun to hope in his sleep-deprived delirium. He finally opened his mouth to speak, but instead found himself sobbing. Adison covered his face and his body shook with his overwhelming muddle of grief, guilt, and relief.

[Adelina Russovo]

The roar in her skull slowly settled into a dull ache, an ache that seemed to spread throughout her whole body. Every muscle was taut and ready as she watched him and it the pain was steadily growing worse from the effort. Every sense was trained on him, every ounce of sinew and soul fixed him with the intensity of a cornered animal. She kept repeating to herself over and over again that she trusted this man, heart and soul. She trusted that he would never put her in harms way, would never hurt her. He himself had saved her from Manic's jaws, throwing himself into the crazed man's line of fire. He had done everything he could to protect her. So why should she fear for her life now? Teal eyes never left his, only sought confirmation. Calm yearned to settle in her mind but then he stood up and the trill of her internal alarm started up again, humming fresh and livid throughout. He moved slow, and unsteady--a shambling pace and she watched as he swayed with each step. The usual control he had over his body, the surety and grace with which he had moved seemed impossible. It looked so strange to see his eyes so haunted, so consumed with internal darkness. His face was usually wide and expressive but now it was unbearably and terrifyingly shuttered. Adelina pulled back when he sank down at the edge of her cot, so slight a movement it was almost imperceptible. But he didn't seem to notice; the silence between them began to stale when his sharp cry shattered it. She didn't know what to do as she watched him slowly fall to pieces, right in front of her. She'd never seen him cry--not like this at least. She had seen tears shining and glassy, but never this gut-wrenching sob that made her feel as if nothing would be right with the world, not ever again. She wanted to look away, needed to but she was still so unsure. So she took him in, each and every agonized inch of him as he wept. His hands covered his face, bloodied and bandaged shoulders heaving with each unearthly sob. Shirt stained with gore and there, just under the fabric she could make out the shape of his knife. She swallowed hard and inched forward, knowing what she had to do. She wrapped her injured arm around his shoulder, grimacing against the sparks of pain and pulled him closer, so that his face was pressed into the crook of her neck. It was the closest they had been in so long she felt a confusing rush of emotions, a tumult of desire and yearning that had only fed on their time apart. But beneath that was that unnerving fear that she was unarmed, and he had a knife hidden in his belt and he still hadn't said anything. His sobs could mean anything--plainly put, he was unstable. And unstable people did stupid, crazy things. And she knew that she was in no condition to take any chances from someone whose life she had very nearly destroyed. Her fingers moved quick and light as she lifted up his shirt, her other hand rubbing his back (as much as it hurt to move her hand) to comfort him. Her fingers grazed against the blade and in a few seconds she had removed it and slid it under her leg, hiding it before he could notice. It had only taken a few seconds and she breathed just a bit lighter. He had stopped sobbing but was still pressed against her. She ran her fingers through his hair, and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "I love you, Adi." She breathed, tears of her own stinging in her eyes as she held him close. "It's going to be okay. I swear I'll make it okay again."

[Adison Sotero]

Adi was so lost in his emotions that he hardly noticed anything; but suddenly Lina was holding him close, and he realized that it was the only thing he wanted right now. Adison wrapped his arms around her, careful to not hold on too tight. He let out a shuddering breath as his sobs finally let up, and pressed his face into Lina’s neck. She was a reminder that even though he’d lost everything he’d thought he’d wanted, he still had her. She was still here, and they would somehow be okay if they stayed together. It took him a moment to realize that it had been months since they’d been this close; he’d spent the whole time wanting this, wanting to be this close to Lina again. Wanting to hear her say that she loved him. The words lifted his spirit and gave him a flicker of hope. “I love you too, Lina,” he answered her quietly, speaking at last. Adison pulled his face away from her neck so that he could look at her. And then he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers, kissing her for the first time in so long. It was soft and unsure, and then it was over. But he lingered with his face just an inch from Lina’s for a moment longer, comforted by the closeness. “What… what are we going to do now?” ooc; awkward sad Adi is awkward.

[Adelina Russovo]

It had been almost a year since they had been this close and despite the fear that clambered for her attention she couldn't help but melt into him. Her body relaxed into his as he spoke at last and she let out a half-smothered sob of her own, her uninjured arm snaking around him and pulling him tighter against her. She wouldn't let the fear or the panic overcome her. She wouldn't let her feelings betray him and everything they had been through. Adison wouldn't hurt her, and she wouldn't hurt him. They were together, here and now, breathing and thanks to her own volition (and a knife) alive. After all that had kept them apart for so long, she wasn't going to let him go. He pulled away from her and she loosened her hold on him in the slightest, meeting his gaze with tear glossed eyes. He still seemed so distant and unsure and she bit her lip, wanting to cry as all her confidence just seconds ago seemed to fizzle away. Don't doubt him. Believe what he said. He does love me. I know he does. She wanted to look away, to hide her face from him in case he could see the battle going on just behind her eyes. But she couldn't bring herself to break away, not yet. Her breath hitched in her throat as he suddenly leaned forward and kissed her, so light and so unsure. It was only a matter of seconds and then there was light and air between them again but that kiss left her breathless. Every inch of her filled with warmth and light as she pressed her forehead against his, smiling despite everything. She cupped his cheek in her hand, eyes drifting closed as she traced a thumb along his lips as she thought of what to say. What options did they have? She had planned on going back to the Fallen, and he would of course have stayed in the Carna. And she could still go back to the Fallen. But Adi? Could he risk going back to the Carna? Would they try to implicate him in the crime, execute him as a traitor? She couldn't allow it. And she didn't want to take him back to the Fallen, not again. They had been met with hostility and in some cases hatred when he had stayed for a few months to help with Reagan. She knew that he would be unhappy there. And though the Fallen had been her home since birth, a part of her had always wanted to be free of the constraints of Ring life and loyalty. They would always be her family, true. But her loyalties had kept her from Adison long enough. They would be together, from this point on. Nothing would keep them apart, not ever again. She drew in a shaky breath before she captured his mouth in a kiss, hand snaring in his hair as passion consumed her. All she could hear was the loud thrumming of her heart as she relinquished to the yearning that had ached for so long in every living, breathing part of her for nearly a year. She lost track of time when they finally broke apart, breath coming in heavy pants. She kissed him one more time, a soft brush of her lips against his. "We can't go back," she whispered at last, opening her eyes."Neither of us," she said with a small, sad smile. "But we can't stay here long. If they start up a manhunt it won't take them long to come looking here," she paused, contemplating. "We'll go into Retro territories. Into the mountains. Even if they somehow link it to us..." she sighed, closing her eyes again for a moment as a rush of dizziness blurred the world again. "We'll be safe together."

[Adison Sotero]

Adison was taken aback by Lina’s sudden rush of passion, but in his heart he felt the agony of the last few months melting away. With one kiss from her, he felt like all of their wounds that had been raw for so long would finally begin to heal; she wasn’t pushing him away any more. Perhaps they could be together after all, after a long relationship of trying to find happiness together, only to have it ripped away from them. And she was right. There was only one way to ensure that. Adison had never pictured his life without the Carna. He had been born and raised there, knowing that one day he would be leading the ring. It was clear to him now that he had only been fooling himself. The Carna held nothing for him anymore. But Lina had so much in the Fallen. A family of ringmates to protect and people that cared about her. He felt tears welling up in his eyes as he realized that she was offering to give that all up to be with him. Her home, her friends, her father… it would be difficult for Lina to see any of them again. But Adison was also filled with an overwhelming rush of relief that he wouldn’t have to wander alone. He ignored however selfish it was and smiled. “Together,” he repeated, echoing the words of the pact that had brought them both here. But there was no more bloodshed ahead, not if he had anything to do about it. It wouldn’t be easy, but they would find somewhere to be happy. “We’ll head out once you’re healed enough to travel,” He agreed, helping Lina to lie back down again. “But first you have to rest.” Adison settled in beside her, closing his eyes for what was meant to be just a moment. Days of sleepless worrying had caught up with him, and now that all his worry had washed away, he was asleep the moment his eyes shut.

[Adelina Russovo]

"Together." He said it like it was the simplest thing in the world. Like he was trying to make it the simplest thing in the world, them being, finally, penultimately, simply...together. The word seemed almost to mock her. It promised so much--happiness, love, a future, beyond all that it promised the idea that there would be no more of the surprisingly painful thought of being alone, without him. The thought that she needed him, needed someone, this much had always made her feel weak and she fought it, fought it hard. But at the same moment it seemed to fill her with joy that she had a heart even in the bloodiest of moments, and a heart that yearned for others. A heart that was not content with solitude. But still she could not name why this thought of 'together' gave her a fluttering feeling deep in her chest. She couldn't place it, couldn't name it. She tried to name it even as Adison helped her to lay down again, struggling to keep the pain from her expression. She didn't want to worry him, knowing that they couldn't risk waiting that long. "We'll leave tomorrow," she said, and would brook no argument from him. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to walk tomorrow--but then she could always fly if it came down to it. She spent a few moments trying to settle her breathing around the pain from her broken rib, and to ignore that flutter in her chest, that feeling she couldn't define. What was it? Fear? No. She knew fear. The first thing she had known in life was fear; her first memory as a child was of fire and blood--Carna. If not fear, then what? She wasn't sure she wanted to find the answer. She wanted to push it away, to sing or laugh or scream away the feeling, the thoughts that chased her further and further away from her desires. She just wanted peace, at long last, peace. Peace for her father, she had gotten. And now...now she would seek it for herself. She remembered then about the knife tucked under her leg, stolen from Adison in a moment of doubt and fear. It sickened her that she could have thought him capable. She needed to trust him, at all costs. There was no room for doubt in their life, not now. She could hear that his breathing had settled into the slow rhythm of sleep, and her own eyes drifted shut. She wrapped her fingers around the hilt of the blade, but the warmth of body against her and his breath on her cheek drew out her exhaustion and tempted her into sleep; her hand still clinging to the knife as if it would keep her safe from that strange, terrifying feeling.

[Adelina Russovo]

end thread