Uncertain Promises [Lina] [C]

[Adison Sotero]

“Goddammit, I liked this shirt, too!” Adison grumbled, trudging back in through the front door and into the safehouse that he called home. “Rogues need to learn when not to pick a fight,” he grumbled, rubbing at the fresh blood stain on his t-shirt. It was just approaching dawn and Adison had gotten up an hour or so before to take a patrol around the safehouse. After all his years as a Carna scout, it was a hard habit for him to break. It was handy though, as this morning he’d caught a rogue encroaching, probably some poor guy who didn’t even know there was a safehouse out here; if he had known, he might have tried to seek shelter there earlier in the night, but Adi would be damned if he let a stranger find their hideaway, and so he’d chased him off. Not without a scuffle though, in which one of Adison’s punches had landed square on the man’s nose, causing a fountain of blood to spurt from it. “I always fight the bleeders,” he complained to himself, before sighing and vowing not to mope about his clothing any longer. He didn’t particularly care for them well anyways, but it was a new one, taken off another rogue they’d fought. Now that he thought about it, they’d been fighting a lot of rogues lately. Their stay at the safehouse was most definitely hard-won. Adison stretched and slowly made his way back to the bedroom he and Adelina had claimed for themselves. He walked over to the bed and smiled as his eyes fell on her, lit by the small rays of light from the window, sleeping peacefully in a twisted position with her hair swept over most of her face. He sat on the edge of the bed and reached over, gingerly sweeping the blonde strands back onto the pillow. “You sleep like a dead gazelle,” he chuckled as she began to stir. “C’mon, we should take Atlas out for a little while. She’s starting to go nuts in here.”

[Adelina Russovo]

“Mmmf,” came the gruff reply as she smooshed her face deeper into the lumpy pillow, drawing her legs over the rough fabric of their blanket in an effort to curl up and keep in the warmth of sleep. “And you smell like one,” she said, peeping one teal eye open at him as he brushed aside her hair, trying to hide a smile as it tugged at her lips. It never ceased to amaze her how gentle he could be, considering who his father was and the Ring that raised him. But he did have about all the tact you’d expect from a Carna. She was still fighting off the haze of sleep, not really hearing what he said about the mule as she slowly stretched out each one of her limbs, licking at her lips and thinking how thirsty she was. Then, how exhausted she still was even after her long night’s sleep, and how as she saw the subtle rays of light peeking through the shutters that she hadn’t woken at her usual early morning hours. She hadn’t slept this much since she’d been pregnant with Reagan. A thought struck her suddenly and thoroughly and she froze mid-stretch. The thought had been weighing on her since they’d come to the safehouse, fluttering on the peripherals of her consciousness with constant and frightening tenacity. But now she realized, she hadn’t bled in months. She had been so tired, too tired, exhausted by simple tasks she had been doing all her life. There wasn’t much sickness this time, though she had been sick once or twice, she thought it had been from a bad possum or rat. The more she thought, the more she realized that she was. She had to be. It wasn’t possible, though. It wasn’t. The Keepers had pretty much told her it was impossible. Well, they hadn’t told her as much as she’d overheard them recording their notes during one of her routine physicals. Dr. Nejem, the Keeper who usually took care of Lina when she was in the labs, had said something about scarring, likely unable to conceive. And even more terrifying, she recalled Nejem saying, definitively, unable to carry a child to term. She couldn’t be pregnant. She couldn’t be. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that she would be given a second chance bring this new life, only to have it slip away no matter what she did. She had no control, she couldn’t protect it from her own body. It wasn’t fair to the life she could already feel blossoming inside her, the life she had felt for the past month but had thought impossible, a promise beyond all grasp, beyond all hope. She didn’t realize how still she’d gotten until she felt Adi’s hand on her shoulder, bringing her back to the surface. His knit brows showed his confused concern, and she only gave him a smile in return before hauling herself out of bed. Her bare feet against the cool, mossy wood of the old flooring grounded her, and she was reminded of her own ubiety. It bolstered her, gave her the strength to follow Adi outside and into the dawning light of day, walking straight past their poor mule. She slipped her hand into his, threading her fingers through his. She pulled him close, resting her head on his shoulder. She noticed the blood on his shirt for the first time, her brows furrowing. She checked him over for wounds with a quick, assessing flick of her eyes. Seeing he was unharmed, they continued on their walk. She let out a soft rush of air through her nose, as if to say, Another one? They had been fighting off so many, though most encounters weren’t lethal and the scuffles were quick and mostly painless, they were becoming tiresome. But Adi was tireless in his efforts to keep them safe, to protect his family. How could she tell him? How would he react? After the loss of their first baby, how could she build up his hopes, only to devastate them when the inevitable happened? She shuffled to a stop, turning around to face him. She grabbed his other hand in hers, bringing them to her lips. She smiled, shook her head softly, eyes closed. “I love you,” she whispered, burying her face into the crook of his neck, wisps of his curly, dark hair tickling at her face.

[Adison Sotero]

Adison let out a musical laugh at Adelina’s reply. Even when she was tired, she was sharp as a whip with her comebacks. He expected her to hop out of bed right away, as she usually did to get started on work in the morning, but Lina seemed to hesitate at something. Adison furrowed his thick brows and watched her, his gaze heavy with concern. She seemed somewhere else, far away from him and the safehouse. He waited another moment to see if she’d snap out of it, but eventually had to place a hand on her shoulder, which did the trick. Lina simply smiled at him and hopped out of bed then, as if the world had been frozen before, with only Adison moving at a regular pace. All at once it had come back to life as if nothing had happened, and it left him stunned and confused for a moment. He jumped up after her and tried to brush off the strange feeling he was getting from her. It was just an off morning, perhaps. It was still early in the day. Adison walked outside, forgetting about Atlas for now. From what he could tell, Lina needed fresh air more than the mule did. He smiled as Lina took his hand and he gave it a light squeeze. Her affection made him feel like a lovestruck little tenderfoot again, and he took the chance to enjoy the moment. They walked for a bit before Lina suddenly stopped, and he felt that nagging sense of concern tugging at him again. Something was not quite right about her this morning. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, and leaned his head against hers. “I love you too,” He spoke quietly, hesitating for a moment as he decided whether or not he should voice his concern. “Are you… feeling alright today?” Adison asked, pulling away just enough that he could see her face. His light brown eyes scanned it for signs, anything that might tell him what was going on. “Ate another bad possum or something?”

[Adelina Russovo]

She knew she was acting weird, strange and all the adjectives in between. But she couldn’t wrap her mind around the indomitable task of telling him about her so recently confirmed suspicions. How could she be so sure she was pregnant, anyway? Sometimes she didn’t bleed for months because she was malnourished. It had happened before. But she and Adi had been eating well in the mountains, with his tracking skills and her hunting skills there were very few nights when they went to sleep with grumbling bellies. As she clung to him, she tried to convince herself that maybe she wasn’t going to have another baby. Maybe she was being foolish, panicking for no reason. She felt the heavy weight on her chest lift for a moment with his arms around her, holding her so close she felt a part of him. He loved her. She felt like she could cry for half a second before laughing away the overwhelming feeling with practiced ease. Adelina leaned back and slightly away from him, still in his arms as she slid hers around his waist. “Oh, yeah,” She said with a fluttery attempt at a smile. “Must be. I think maybe we should stay off the possum for a while, yeah?” She tried to keep the thoughts at bay, cracking a raw grin. “Why, can’t a woman say she loves her man without getting the third degree?” She said with a smirk as she slipped her hand in his again. “Let’s keep walking a bit. I think the fresh air will help,” she said, clearing her throat and leading towards the river. They only made it a few hundred yards or so before there was a rustling in the underbrush fringing the steep river bank a few yards ahead. Her hand instantly dropped from Adi’s and reached for her knives which, of course, were still tucked under the bed. She rolled her shoulders, instantly prepared. She kept her eyes fixed on the brush, and she could smell a party, heard the vague, hushed undertones of speech. They didn’t see she and Adi yet, as they were obscured by a small copse of trees. Her eyes flicked to Adi and he signaled that he scented three of them. She nodded, shifting into her lithe puma and stealing noiselessly to circle around behind them. She had always been a quiet hunter, but she felt the Keeper’s at work again. She made even less noise than she had before, now almost completely silent when she hunted, even in her human form. If she concentrated hard enough on the hunt, Adi had told her that she was almost undetectable to even his nose. Even the dead leaves under paw were quiet as she crept up behind them, her bright colors masked by the dark undergrowth. She made out three figures as Adi had said: a very striking red piebald hound, a scarred, savage-looking baboon and a…beaver? She resisted a chuff of laughter, but it was cut short when she heard Adi’s sharp bark just beyond. The three shifters started in alarm, eyes glued forward to see where the bark had come from. She bunched her muscles, claws slicing small divots into the earth. She counted her breaths, and leapt. Her claws sank into the shoulders of the baboon before it even knew what was happening, and with one great push she slammed the it into the ground. It went limp under her, KO'd by the force of the hit. Lina looked up, prepared to pounce on the next target when Adison burst through the leaves, tackling the piebald hound. Lina yowled a welcome, tail lashing from side to side as she turned her sights on the beaver. It had shifted into a tall, well-built man. He charged toward her, drawing a knife from a sheath on his belt. Lina bared her teeth in a defiant snarl and leaped forward, shifting mid-stride. She ran straight into his charge, darting to the side at the last second and hitting him with a series of rapid-fire hits to his side, nailing an especially hard punch at his kidneys. EDIT: Edited the last paragraph a bit :>

[Adison Sotero]

“Alright, alright,” Adison laughed, satisfied by her answer for the moment. He knew there was something still there under the surface, but unless she decided to talk about it, he wouldn’t push her any further. Adison gladly took her hand in his again and walked on, swinging their hands as they walked. The rustling in the bushes ahead froze Adison in his tracks. He closed his eyes and scented the air. He could almost see the three distinct scents wafting toward them on the morning breeze, and he opened his eyes again, the mental image fading but the knowledge of the scents still fresh in his mind. He nodded in their direction and silently signaled to Lina that there were three strangers up ahead. Lina shifted into her puma form, and Adison followed suit, shifting into his lithe border collie form. He padded quickly and quietly toward the rogues, the leaves beneath his paws only giving the slightest crunch as he swooped forward. He watched their quarry for a moment and saw they were set up to spot anyone encroaching on their hideaway. He closed his eyes and scented Lina coming up behind them, and so he gave a loud bark to steal their attention. A split second later, Lina was on the stunned rogues and Adison leapt forward to do the same. He slammed into the stunned hound and dug his teeth into the mongrel’s ear, shaking it viciously and tattering the flesh. The hound yowled in pain and slammed a paw into Adison’s face. It was just enough to make him release his grasp, and the hound took the chance to head for the hills. Adison growled and glanced momentarily at Lina, and seeing that she was doing all right, he dashed after the hound just to make sure he got the message this time; he wasn't going to teach this guy a lesson for a third time.

[Adelina Russovo]

Her hits landed on the man, hard and fast, sending him to the ground with a groan. Adelina skidded to a halt, turning sharply on her heel to spin around to face him again. She was surprised to see him already back on his feet, the knife back in his hand. His stance mirrored her own as they squared off, neither distracted by the beaver’s companion fleeing and Adi taking hot pursuit. She took in his face, his dark eyes, his lips set in a firm line. She longed for one of her blades, just to have the satisfaction of equal combat. He looked like her knew how to use a blade properly, and she longed to spar with someone who actually knew what they were doing. The thrill of the fight with someone equally as skilled as you was heady. She saw his eyes flick to her hands, searching for a weapon. The corner of her mouth lifted in a slight grin, and seeing her moment she launched herself forward, feet barely seeming to hit the ground as she charged. The man lunged forward, striking out at her with his knife – she dodged, one hand snaking out to grip his wielding-arm, the other darting to block his other arm from hitting her. She grinned as he towered over her, struggling to break free of her iron-like grip. She was tall and gaunt, but deceptively so, packed with hard muscle from survival. Adelina saw the surprise in his face contort to rage and brought her knee swiftly into his groin, simultaneously twisting his arms up to knock him off balance and slam him into the ground. She grunted as he managed to slip her grip, his knife slicing in a quick, slashing arc. She heard the sharp edge tearing the fabric of her shirt and then seconds later felt the sharp, stinging pull of her skin coming apart from the slice. Reagan’s round, smiling face was suddenly all she could see, instinct more than sense driving her as she wrenched the arm she was still holding backwards and shoved the man’s face into the dirt, her boot slamming down onto his face. He went limp, but she hit him again for good measure. She stumbled backwards, away from the toppled man. She caught herself against a tree before she could fall, nails digging deep into the cold bark. “No,” she gasped, gulping down huge breaths of air, hand flying to her lower belly. "No, no, no." She felt for a wound, but could find none. The knife had missed her child by miles, really, but she realized with a sudden and sickening thought that he could have killed the baby. After all she had done to rid herself of Reagan before she had been born, all the guilt she suffered (and still suffered) after she had died so young … there was no way in hell she was going to lose this child, too, to violence or sickness. She couldn’t control her breathing as her eyes seemed to glaze over as she stared down at the unconscious bodies of the man and baboon, who had shifted back into her natural woman form. Adelina leaned against the tree, stricken by this sudden, convulsive fear that she almost lost it, she almost lost another child. She gripped her stomach with both hands, the fabric in tight bunches in her shaking, white-knuckled fists as she fought to breathe past the sudden waves of panic.

[Adison Sotero]

Adison trotted back, tail held high. That scoundrel had run off, but Adison was sure he wasn’t coming back this time. He shifted back into his human form once he got closer, his smile immediately fading as the smell of blood drifted toward him on the wind. His gaze fell on Adelina, leaning up against the tree and clutching her stomach, looking like she was enveloped in sheer terror. Adison had slowed to a walk in his confusion, but he suddenly burst into a sprint and ran to her side. “Lina!” Are you alright?!” Adison gently pried her hands away from her middle, trying to get a good look at the wound. He sighed with relief when he found the slash, and almost laughed. “You’re not shaken up by that little thing, are you?” He asked, moving to rub her back comfortingly. “C’mon, you’ve walked off way worse,” Adi told her, brows furrowing in concern at her shaken state. This was so unlike her. She had been acting strangely all day, the fact that had slipped his mind once they’d found the rogues. This had to be about whatever was going on with her before. He would get it out of her eventually, but this probably wasn’t the best place to do it, and not while she was in a state like this. “We should really get back to the safehouse before these two wake up,” He told her, nodding at the unconscious forms of the rogues on the ground. “You look like you need to lie down, and we should probably patch up that scratch.”

[Adelina Russovo]

The rims of her eyes glistened with tears she wouldn’t allow to spill. She hated crying. She hated not being in control. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t seem to rein in her breathing. And suddenly Adi was there, grabbing her hands, prying them apart, looking at the wound. "Adi, she choked out, her breaths slowly settling, his touch grounding her. She knew he was right. She’d been bitten, stabbed, shot and just about everything in between. She was used to pain; she could swallow it, pick herself up and fight on even in the worst of times. This scratch didn’t even hurt. Her eyes flicked to the unconscious forms of the two shifters, but she wasn’t really seeing them. She couldn’t shake it. She couldn’t shake the thought that after everything she had been through with Reagan that she was getting a second chance at motherhood, something she had never thought she wanted. But she wasn’t, was she? She wasn’t really getting a second chance, not if the Keepers were to be believed. A single, tearless sob wracked her suddenly, almost violently as Adi tried to move her, take her back to the safehouse. She grabbed onto his wrists, holding both of them in place. “It isn't fair,” she said, her voice coming in between shuddering, halting gasps. “They said it couldn’t happen, Adi. They told me it wasn’t possible.” She looked up from the forest floor, slowly bringing her gaze level with his. But she realized that the Whitecoats hadn’t said it couldn’t happen. They just told her how it would end. “It’s isn't fair,” she repeated, softer this time, eyes glassy as she tried to find the words to tell him. Her bottom lip trembled, mouth parted in the slightest. But she couldn’t say it. She couldn’t bear to say those words to him, not after everything they had lost.

[Adison Sotero]

Lina’s grasp on his wrists pulled him back, and he took in a sharp breath of surprise. He looked over his shoulder at the rogues and decided they weren’t much of a threat anyways—whatever was to happen, it was clear it would happen here. Her sobs made him want to fall to pieces. He was so helpless, so confused, and he didn’t know what he was even wishing to help her with. “Lina, please…” He began as she cried, confusing sentences tumbling from her mouth between her ragged breathing. “You’re scaring me,” Adison whined desperately, his voice cracking. His eyes glistened almost in answer to hers; to see her like this, in a way he hadn’t seen her since Reagan had died, was worse than any physical pain he knew. What could be this terrible that it would bring even Adelina, the strongest person he knew, nearly to her knees in agony? He took a step closer and gently tugged his hands out of her grip, so that he could bring them both to cup her face in his hands. He gently stroked her flushed cheeks with his thumbs, as if wiping away the tears that hadn’t yet fallen. “It’s alright, it’s alright,” He told her quietly, leaning forward to press a gentle, hesitant kiss to her forehead. “Whatever it is, you can tell me. What isn’t fair? What’s not possible?” He asked, his pale eyes desperately scanning hers for some hint, some clue. “Let me help you.”

[Adelina Russovo]

Adelina focused on Adison’s presence, on his touch, on his voice, which cracked with confusion. The gentle pressure of his lips against her forehead soothed her immeasurably. She managed to even her breathing by keeping her thoughts trained on him. She couldn’t keep him in the dark on this. She couldn’t struggle alone any longer, when only a day of silence had her sobbing like a mad woman. “I’m sorry,” she said after a long moment, drawing herself upright. Her hands were soft now against his skin where before she had gripped as if for her life. “I didn’t mean to freak you out. I didn’t mean to freak out.” She said, a small, cheerless smile on her lips. She could feel her throat tightening around the words, refusing to let them out. “I just…I didn’t know how to even begin to tell you. I didn’t want to build your hopes up just to destroy them. But I can’t keep it to myself anymore. ” She paused, drew in a series of breaths. “We’re going to have another baby.” She didn’t wait to let it sink in, she couldn’t stop the words as they tumbled out. “I don’t even know for sure, but at the same time...I just know. I just have this feeling. I feel exactly how I felt when Reagan was growing.” She could feel the tears forming again and swallowed them back, determined not to let them get in the way. “But I heard Dr. Najem recording her notes after one of my tests. She said … she said that I wasn’t supposed to be able to get pregnant.” she paused, eyes flicking to the still unconscious shifters. She licked at her lips, still so unsure. “She said that if I did get pregnant, it wouldn’t make it to birth. She said that I would lose the baby before …” she shook her head, closed her eyes. “Mio dio, Adi, they said she will be gone before we even get to hold her, or hear her cry.” She opened her eyes, shakily brought her eyes to meet his. "What are we supposed to do, Adi?"

[Adison Sotero]

Adison listened, silent, eyes staring unblinkingly at Lina as she spoke. At one point he opened his mouth to say something, but instead it just hung slightly agape as he tried to take in what she’d just said. His thick brows furrowed together, a telltale sign that his mind was racing, A baby. It was everything he wanted with her. Him, Lina, a child… a family. He’d dared to hope of course, but to hear that though his wildest wish had been granted, it would be swiftly taken from them, it threatened to bring him to tears. His eyes glistened and stung with tears, but he still stood there, speechless. Wasn’t there the slightest chance that something would go right? That things would be alright? He wanted to hope. He had to hope, because they wouldn’t make it through this if they didn’t. It was a dangerous gamble, daring to hope that things would turn out alright and they’d get to have another baby. That was scary enough, as they’d found out last time, just because their baby was born didn’t mean it would get to grow up. But if they didn’t at least try to hope, then the constant fear of waiting for the worst to happen would just eat them alive. Adi took a deep breath and took both of Lina’s hands in his. He looked her in the eye and smiled, a genuine, bright smile that was so out of place that it was believable. “We’re going…to have a baby,” He repeated. “We’re going to have a baby… together this time. And we’re going to be the best family,” Adison told her. Lina looked at him like he hadn’t heard her properly, but he shook his head. “It’s going to be fine, because that baby in there is yours and mine. A fighter. The keepers never take into account how strong we are. They work with numbers and facts but I know better…because you said ‘her’. You know she’s going to make it.” With that, Adison swept Adelina up in a hug and spun her around, a deep joyous laugh rising up from him.

[Adelina Russovo]

With his hands wrapped around hers, the hope shining like a bright, unwavering beacon in his eyes, she desperately wanted to believe him. She wanted more than anything to be buoyed by the promise of a thriving future, a happy future with a smiling child; a future where they didn’t simply survive day to day, meal to meal – a future where they grew, where they thrived. But could they really make it? She wondered if they could survive another loss like Reagan. But then, she knew that Adi could. It was her that hadn’t been able to take it. It was her that had driven him away because of her own cancerous guilt. He was stronger than she was, unafraid to dream, to believe, to have faith that everything would take form in the way they fervently wished. And as she watched him convince himself to hope, she felt it blossoming in that part of her, in her own world-hardened, petrous heart. She needed that. She needed him, needed him to remind her that it was safe to hope. It was safe because they were together. He was here, and she wouldn’t ever let him go again. She felt the threat of tears again, but they were swept away by the peals of laughter as Adison swept her up in a hug. Her arms wrapped around him as tight as they could, her face buried in his neck. She let herself be swept off her feet, let herself get lost in the giddiness, let his joy wash over and consume every inch of her. They would be happy, together, regardless of what happened. They would face whatever would come together - and despite all the uncertainties, all the promises that could soon lay shattered and broken around them like so many before - she knew that to be true. When he set her feet back on the ground, she kept her willowy limbs loosely around his shoulders, leaning back to look him in the eye. “You’re right,” she said, brows knit over her teal eyes. “She is going to make it. And so are we, no matter what.” She said, nodding. She jerked her chin towards the rogues, who would start stirring soon. “But we’ll need to move out of the safehouse. They’ll just keep coming,” She continued. “And if she’s going to have a chance, we need somewhere to settle, somewhere to put down roots.”

[Adelina Russovo]

end thread