i can't stand the closeness - quinn's diary

[Quinn]

[Quinn]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,10,true][atrb=style, background-image: url(http://i375.photobucket.com/albums/oo192/ShibusenRP/Madpen/opennotebook.png); background-repeat: no-repeat, bTable][style=width: 210px; height: 270px; overflow: auto; font-size:8pt;font-family:Verdana; color: #666666; text-align:justify;line-height:1.6em;padding: 1px 2px 5px 20px ]Desi looks very peaceful when he sleeps. I just don’t understand him at all, though. Why didn’t he fight back when that damn Fulsi got a hold on him? It doesn’t make sense. And what the hell is my problem, bringing him in here? I really don’t like him. He’s a bit of a womanizing…cocky…man, I don’t even. ----------- I’ve GOT to get this guy out of my house. I didn’t sign up to be his nursemaid! Hell I didn’t even sign up to be here! ----------- Okay, this is getting ridiculous. I had to banish him to the other side of the house. I swear to God if he comes back over here I’m going to have to clobber him. I’m glad he’s feeling better though. He’s been moving around a lot more, makes it harder to find time to write cause I seriously have to watch him. He’s a bit of a snooper, rummaging through my stuff. I’ve had to chase him off a few times. [/style]

[style=width: 210px; height: 270px; overflow: auto; font-size:8pt;font-family:Verdana; color: #666666; overflow: auto; text-align:justify; line-height:1.6em;padding: 1px 2px 5px 20px]Gah. I can’t even sit down to write a journal without him peering over my shoulder. He’s much better, back to his usual self. Living with him these past weeks have been absolutely crazy. I swear I’m going insane! I…actually like him being around. Which is not good…soooo sooo soooo not good. I find myself thinking about his eyes or his smile, and I don’t know why. I even thought about his ass today. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?! I need a drink. -Q ----------- Quinnybuns. I swear that is what this man has just called me. QUINNYBUNS. I’m going to kill him. WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS? WHY DO I HAVE TO HAVE A CRUSH ON THE MOST ANNOYING MAN ON EARTH? Ugh. Later ----------- So Desi was finally strong enough to leave the boxcar for a while. I shoved all of his clothes and everything else he had in here in a small crate, and stuck it outside. Maybe he’ll take the hint, and go home. It’s dangerous to let myself get close to another man. I promised I wouldn’t be hurt ever again. I’m sitting in front of the door so he can’t come back in. But why does it...suck to keep him out? Ughhhhhhhh! It’s so stupid! ----------- Well…fine ass is gone. After about twenty minutes of refusing to let him back in, he finally left. Great. Wonderful. Fantastic. Why does it suck? I’m back to number one, and there isn’t anymore invasion of privacy or him prancing about with his cheerfulness…or getting to watch him prance about. I’ll admit to this piece of paper I cried for a few minutes before I stopped that crap. It’s stupid to cry over a man like Desidero right? It’s so obvious that I’m another trophy, a prize, a game to him right? He doesn’t like me that way…and I’m willing to wager he thinks I’m a freak with these ears. No matter how nice these Fallen pretend to be about it, they all think I’m a freak. I need to stop thinking. Really need to stop thinking… -Q [/style]

[style=font-size: 8px;]MADE BY MAD [/style]

[Quinn]

[Quinn]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,10,true][atrb=style, background-image: url(http://i375.photobucket.com/albums/oo192/ShibusenRP/Madpen/opennotebook.png); background-repeat: no-repeat, bTable][style=width: 210px; height: 270px; overflow: auto; font-size:8pt;font-family:Verdana; color: #666666; text-align:justify;line-height:1.6em;padding: 1px 2px 5px 20px ] early spring 2307. Well, I guess I'm back to this nonsense again. I burned my last journal, not wanting anyone to read it after Desi. How could he do that? How dare he invade my privacy like that? I can't believe him. It's been nearly four months. Alot has happened, so much that I think that if I don't write it down that I'm going to explode. I left the Fallen...for good. I couldn't keep letting them make me soft, letting him make me soft. So I abandoned them, striking it out on my own. It's not an easy exsistance, I'll tell ya. I've been hungry, thirsty, bone-tired, beaten up, stolen from...the dome is just as cruel as that world out there. Except here we're all animals, we're all rats in a cage. Desi found me again after a while. I told him to leave me alone, I hurled angry words and told him lies. Fed him the blackest lies I've ever told. [/style]

[style=width: 210px; height: 270px; overflow: auto; font-size:8pt;font-family:Verdana; color: #666666; overflow: auto; text-align:justify; line-height:1.6em;padding: 1px 2px 5px 20px] I hate myself for that.[/style]

[style=font-size: 8px;]MADE BY MAD [/style]