welcome to your new hell, Welcome to the Menagerie. Or as we like to call it, Dome Sweet Dome! We are an eight-year strong futuristic shapeshifter and sci-fi creature roleplay, dedicated to bringing you a world unlike any other; a world in which your character has become an experiment and must fight for survival in a domed city, cut off from the rest of the world. Choose to be any animal in your fight for survival in an artificial world built by the Keepers as they subject you to experiments beyond your control. Choose to wander the world inside the walls alone, as a Rogue, or find safety in numbers in one of the groups known as Rings. How will you survive?
60 - 65 ºF
blustery with scattered showers spotty sunshine
YEAR 2309
shift bans.
» Cougars (aka Puma, Mountain Lion, Panther)
» All Tiger Species
» All Lion Species
» All Wolf Species
» African Leopards
group bans.
none.
encouraged !
FEMALE CHARACTERS! create a RETRO or ANTHRO and get 250 CP + a free skill! read me for more info!
last updated: april 19th, 2016
Click on each Ring or Retro group image to view their ranks!
GROUP UPDATES
CARNARING
Jocelyn Edelwolfe is the new Alpha! Seija Mulviene is the new Beta, and Grey is the new Delta. Lead Hunter is now Boone Haywood, Head of Border Patrol is now Noelle Ndango!
FALLENRING
-
FULSIRING
Fulsi has a standing treaty with the Nakoma, granting limited access to their fresh water.
NAKOMA TRIBE
-
ANALOYA PRIDE
a while back, the Analoya suffered a suspicious poisoning of their river, luckily with few casualties; the Bellator are suspected of having taken part in it, and there are whispers that Pride leader Wanderer is talking alliance with the Nilda for access to their clean water.
BELLATOR HERD
As new leader of the Bellator, Loril has instituted some rank changes. See this thread for more information!
LAWAII FLOCK
no updates!
NILDA PACK
no updates!
CARNARING QUICK STATS
ALPHA -- Jocelyn Edelwolfe, Clouded Leopard, played by IronChild
BETA -- Seija Mulviene, Spotted Hyena, played by Seija-chan
DELTA --Grey, Mackenzie Valley Wolf, played by Kriss
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She could smell it, the dawn. It was a hushed moment, the quieting of the world, the pause between breaths, and the eagerness for light. Not another day, no. Aurora could not stand another day away from him. She felt a constant ache in her chest that kept her awake nights, and catatonic through most of the day. She missed her friend, and he needed her as badly as she needed him. This she knew.
Large black eyes fluttered in the darkness, adjusting easily. Over the past few months, Aurora had noticed her eyesight much improved, and as her wings steadily grew back she had been practicing her stealth and studying her surroundings.
No, not another day, not one more minute. As silently as she could manage, she laced up her boots and crept past sleeping shifters. The watch posts were changing, and the fresh Fallen look-outs were early to rise and often took cat-maps despite the threat of punishment if they were caught.
Fifteen minutes later Aurora was dashing up a hill away from the Fallen camp and headed North. The pre-dawn light caused a glow over the landscape, lending a silver hue to the chill morning. Topping the peak, she stood panting. It was the highest hill she had found, and the opposite side boasted a dramatic incline. She had noticed a few weeks back that the wind tended to gust upward over the hill.
Stepping to the edge, Aurora put a hand out feeling the frigid draft that blew through her fingers and she smiled. Leaning forward, the wind pushed back her long black hair and her large dark wings spread and flexed in anticipation. She had not flown in a long, long time. She needed the push of the air current to help her. It was much easier than a still liftoff and if she was honest with herself, she was unsure whether she could or not.
Tentatively, her dark wings rose and billowed her large stiff flight feathers catching the wind and she could feel the lift of the currant. Closing her eyes, she smiled and took a step forward.
It was so cold. Aurora kept low, hoping to steer clear of most of the aloft frosty drafts but it was not long before she had to rest. Her booted feet touched the snow and she almost pitched forward onto her hands as her wings folded before she told them to. Her landing was rough and she breathed hard to catch her breath as she looked behind her. The gusty, open hills yielded nothing more than snow, and emptiness for which she was grateful.
No. He was supposed to be here. The shaken girl trembled at the foot of the stair of the Speakeasy, and knew without even searching that Lyric was not there. He would have known she was there, and come and gotten her. Her eyes watered, and she blinked rapidly to clear them and gain resolve as she turned around and slowly scaled the stairs.
Sitting at the piano, her fingers ghosted over the keys fondly. She had not realized how much she had depended on him being here. For a time in the beginning when they had first taken her to the Fallen camp she had thought he might be dead, but another stronger part quelled the worry immediately. He couldn’t be.
A few hours later, Aurora woke up cold and rigid. She had fallen asleep with her arms pillowing her head on the piano, and she could hear footsteps from the bottom of the stair, followed by voices. Quickly, she hid and waited. When all seemed quiet, she ducked back out into the setting sun and summoning the last of her strength headed for Carna.
The small voice again warned her about what had happened last time, but she crushed it to silence without hesitation. It would be worth it to make sure her friend was okay. Even to see him for a small moment as he sent her away would be better than not seeing him at all. As night fell, so did Aurora’s energy her large wings coasted on frigid breeze, lulling her to sleep …
There was a crash, a delayed report of pain and a cry she soon realized was her own. The wind howled at her, and hands grabbed at her wings and body, poking and grasping and prodding until tears streamed down her face in pure exhaustion and frustration and fear. When she calmed down, she oriented herself and realized: she was in a tree.
With a sniff, she wiped her eyes and turned –she gasped. Turning made her wing hurt, and her heel throb. It was impossible. How? She was stuck in the middle of the night, in a tree. All of her fussing and crying suddenly hit her like a bucket of cold water, and she stilled immediately. If she were in Carna territory and someone not-Lyric found her … she didn’t finish the thought and instead looked in vain around for a way to untangle herself.
Her tears continued to trail down her cheeks, silently as she wiggled here and there but the evergreen had snagged her wing at a painful angle. The only luck she had been offered, was that she was facing the tree beneath a larger branch, and where she was sitting was out of the worst of the wind. Hunkering down in her coat, she shook and remained quiet well into the night. Eventually exhaustion took her, and she dreamed of falling from the ocean, and drowning in a red sky.
"Are you sure you want me to go on ahead?" Carter asked. Lyric was no longer looking at his companion, a Scout His eyes were directed to the door of the Speakeasy as they passed by. As they had walked past it, he had caught a horrendously familiar scent, and it had caused him to freeze for a long moment. He had ushered Carter on ahead, saying to finish up the patrol, saying that he would meet him at Carna territory.
Did you know, Lyric thought, but didn't say. That once you smell something, you never forget it? You can forget names or places or the look of people, but you can never forget a smell... That's the way the brain works. He shook his head and turned to look at Carter again, who was silhouetted by the dull light of the moon. He was a horse shifter, but at the moment he was bundled up warmly in his human form, looking a little worried. Lyric didn't know how to deal with the concern, so he just shrugged his shoulders and offered a lopsided smirk. "Yeah. Carna territory isn't far, and I just... have to check something out."
Carter's eyes went to the Speakeasy, and he let out a long sigh. "Don't get too shitfaced, Shikov, and you better make it home tonight." For half a heartbeat, Lyric wanted to argue and say, "I am not getting drunk!" Instead, he bit his tongue and shrugged. Leave already, Lyric thought, and shifted his weight. The concern was touching and all--yeah, because Ly couldn't handle himself or anything--but he wanted the other Carna gone. The smell of her was still recent enough he could follow it, if he hurried--he had to hurry.
Carter gave him one long look. "Don't be stupid."
"I'll be back by the end of tonight," Lyric promised, raising his hands in a peace-like gesture. He was getting antsy, and the only thing that kept his expression tightly in check was years of lying. "Fine," Carter agreed, relenting. "See you later." With a wave of his hand, the other man dissolved into a thoroughbred horse and trotted off.
Lyric let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, and without missing a beat he transformed into a mountain lion. In this form, his sense of smell was much better, and he could tell that her scent overlapped itself twice. She had already left the Speakeasy. He began to pursue her trail, until it went cold--had she... had she flown? His mind rejected the idea. The last time he had seen her, she had been a mess...
But that was months ago.
Even without the scent, he knew which direction she had been heading. Carna territory. Lyric picked up pace, heading in that way, filled with... emotions he had refused to confront since her absence. He had missed her. He had missed her more than he had ever missed Leena. He had missed her smiles, and the way she had looked at him. He had been rethinking some of the first words she had said to him, when he had sewn up her bloodied stomach. Kindness is a foreign creature to you, Lyric.
Then why did he want to find her so badly? Why did he want--no, need--to know if she was alright? He had invested too much time into her. He had tormented himself night after night, unable to fall asleep, wondering if she were alive or dead. He didn't know what it was. If it was merely addiction to her kindness or his own foolishness that made him think of her so, so much. Either way, it was torture in its own right.
Lyric didn't know how long he went on for, trailing through the trees, until he almost reached the border of Carna territory. At that point, he was confronting the idea that she had not been heading toward where he was, but toward Nakoma territory. It was right about that time that he passed under a tree, and heard the sound of branches stirring above him. Being that mountain lions were predators that preferred higher locations to ambush their prey, he was well-aware of the dangers that could lurk above. He immediately looked up, and the only thing that allowed him to see her was his very acute eyesight, even in darkness.
Who the hell gets caught in a tree? he wondered, and then it hit him. It was Aurora. Lyric didn't even hesitate, because he half-thought that he was either dreaming or imaging this all. He leapt into the lowermost branches of the tree, and quickly ascended, paw-over-paw. He registered, upon nearing her, that she was asleep--had the branches merely stirred because of the wind or..? No, he watched as she moved restlessly, even unconscious.
Lyric settled himself on the branch closest to her, his tail balancing him. After a moment, he shifted into his human form, and with a trembling hand he reached out to stroke her cheek. "Rory. Rory, wake up." He had wondered what he would do if he found her again, but now all of his words seemed lacking. He never thought he could miss someone so much. He did not know how to deal with this, with any of this, because all of him was in turmoil.
There was a part of him that was thinking, I shouldn't see her. I should have kept going with Carter. I was better off alone, for Christ's sake.
OH YOU WATCH ME STEADY, YOU WATCH ME WITH QUIET SINCERITY AND YOU HOLD ME HEAVY, YOU HOLD ME LIKE I WAS BORN TO BE HELD
Fate could be so cruel. Not only had the wind sapped Aurora’s body of warmth, but every time she moved the pain in her wing or ankle caused her to flinch even in sleep. If that wasn’t enough, she was beginning to dream again. Dream of him saving her and …
She heard his voice, the caress against her cheek. Maybe it was all a horrible dream? Maybe Lyric was right there, and she would wake up curled next to him on the floor of the Speakeasy and he had to go again. Her head turned into his touch, her mouth curling into a small smile as her eyes opened.
The moment seemed endless; the comfort of his gilded hues piercing the depths of her dark eyes and suddenly everything was okay. He was here, and she was here. The cold breeze swept her black hair from her face forcing her to blink and the spell broke.
Her eyes watered as doubt crept into her gaze, ”Lyric?” the duality of hope, and fear of hoping was heartbreaking. Was it really him? Was he really here? Without another word, her hand crept up into his jacket and pulled gently as she hid her face in the warmth of his shoulder. She breathed him in, heard his heartbeat, and believed.
Her joy was beyond celebration, the need for him beyond tears. He was there. It was like a first breath when you might have drowned, fighting for the surface, your lungs burning with the need for oxygen and too greedy that first breath to savor it. It wasn’t until a small part of her snapped - her chest for the first time in months free of suppression that she awoke completely and an arm slipped around his neck and she hugged him with every ounce of strength she had left.
For an instant, their eyes met, and Lyric lost himself. He lost what he was there to say, what he was there to do. He lost the loneliness he had felt for weeks, and the desperation he had felt for years. And then she blinked and he was just looking at a person again, and that was that. Lyric remained frozen, caught in some sort of disbelief--because he couldn't believe it, he couldn't believe that she was right there after months of not seeing her.
And then she reached out and pulled herself into him, or him into her, and Lyric wrapped his arms around her slim shoulders and held her as tight as he could without hurting her, his face in her hair. His first thought was a cliche. I'm never going to let her go. And he second one was a disagreement. Of course I am. But she was hugging him back, and Lyric didn't release her, not for a long time.
When he did withdraw, it was to see what kind of situation she was in, distracting himself from the maelstrom of his own emotions and thoughts. He reached out his fingertips to brush them over various branches, a little exasperated with her situation. I can't believe this is her, he was thinking. I can't believe she's okay. His eyes went to her wings, and at the same time he was pierced with both guilt and relief, because they were intact again. "Here, we need to get you out."
He touched the branches surrounding her, trying to determine how she was tnagled. Her shirt was caught in several, and so were her arms. Branches had crossed over her wings and her torso, and Lyric was internally sighing as he reached out. The thickest of the branches was probably the width of his forearm, but he snapped it with an inward flex of his bicep. He really liked some of the things the Keepers had given him. "I learned some new tricks," he commented idly, glancing up at her. He reached out to unceremoniously break the rest of the branches that constrained her, dropping them individually.
Lyric readjusted himself, stepping out onto the largest branch, the one she was sitting on. He thought that it would hold both their weight, but he hated himself for assuming things as soon as he heard the telltale crack, and both of them went plummeting to the ground.
OH YOU WATCH ME STEADY, YOU WATCH ME WITH QUIET SINCERITY AND YOU HOLD ME HEAVY, YOU HOLD ME LIKE I WAS BORN TO BE HELD
A cry of alarm sounded in her mind when he released her, unable to bear losing the comfort of his arms around her. When he spoke she nodded without argument, dark eyes full of trust. They widened with surprise at the demonstration of strength Lyric had been gifted with as he broke branch after branch so easily.
She tried not to move as he shifted about, but when her wings were free her balance tilted and her wings shot out to rebalance her on the narrow branch. It was then that Lyric stepped on the branch with a loud CRACK, and she gasped when they dropped a foot. It was only a second that they hung there, but it was enough that Rory grabbed for Lyric as the limb snapped and they plummeted to the ground.
Aurora’s arms wrapped around Lyric, her legs around his hips and held on as tight as she could. Her large wings caught the air, but they were too heavy, and she dug her fingers in the fabric of his jacket, ripping nails as the force of the drop hit her wings and they dropped.
Somehow, her wings remained open enough to slow their fall and the drop was not the full height of the tree. Regardless, they hit the ground hard and sunk into the snow to the forest floor. For a long moment Aurora didn’t breathe, didn’t move.
When she did she wished she had not. The muscles of her shoulders and wings throbbed fiercely, but it paled to nothing when she sat up and looked down. The spell relit as gold melded with onyx and before she could think her lips were on his, his jaw, her hands curling in his hair, desperate to be as close to him as possible.
She had missed him so much. Between kisses she laughed, and smiled … delayed tears of joy spilled without reserve and despite their drop, her pain, fear, and loneliness vanished - engulfed in the flames of his warmth and banished by familiarity of his scent. He was here. It was real.
"Lyric, Lyric ..."
[/b] she cooed over and over, her tone expressing the fervent emotions of thankfulness, longing, hope, and elation all at once.
The span of her wings, stretching out above them. A dark spattering of stars through the evergreen branches. The fall was quick and violent, his shoulders taking the brunt of it as they broke through the thinner branches and then hit the ground.
His heart was in his throat and he was lightheaded from the adrenaline that coursed through him, because he was counting his blessing already, considering the fall had either been too short or Aurora's wings had saved them from serious injury. But before he could think on this for too long, she looked down, and their eyes met, and then she was kissing him.
Lyric didn't know if it was inevitable or not, but he felt himself rising into her, his hand cupping the side of her face even as hers knotted in his hair. He could ignore the pain he felt for an instant, because she was catching his veins on fire, and he was thinking, Thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God, and her tears were falling on his face and his lips even as they kissed.
Lyric, Lyric... Maybe it was the aftereffects of the adrenaline leaving him so lighthearted, or maybe it was her kisses. But he laughed very, very softly and said, "Moy golubushka." Not one for long endearments, Lyric kissed her again, and again, and again. It said what he could not: I missed you, I missed you, I missed you.
His mouth found her collarbone, and he said, "Your wings." They were intact again. He raised one hand to touch the feathers, and fell back into the snow, dizzy.
This could not be happening. He could not be losing these pieces of himself to her. His teeth gently bit her neck, then rose.
He could not be rendered so... so... so ecstatic by seeing her again. He could not have his eyes draw repetitively to her eyes, drinking in her face, thinking, She's okay. Simultaneously, Lyric thought, But I'm not. He had never known this part of himself before.
Again, their mouths met, and he clenched his other hand into the fabric at her hip.
OH YOU WATCH ME STEADY, YOU WATCH ME WITH QUIET SINCERITY AND YOU HOLD ME HEAVY, YOU HOLD ME LIKE I WAS BORN TO BE HELD
Aurora nodded with a grin, and when his fingers brushed the silky ebon plumage she trembled, then followed his fall into the snow eagerly and buried her head beneath his chin for a long moment. Her mind spinning with her emotions and his, when words came she sat up and her fists clenched in his shirt.
”You’re okay! I was so worried, Lyric. I’m sorry,” tears continued to roll down her cheeks unbidden. ”I’m so sorry for everything, I was so scared, and I missed you so much,” the same words tumbled over and over as she leaned down and kissed him again, and as his teeth caught her flesh she gasped and returned the feeling ardently.
She could not stop herself - lost to the release of pain and torment she had felt for so long, her soft murmurs of his name, apologizing, and the pain of missing him over and over echoing. The cold was growing, the forest around them breaking against the worst of the weather. The wind had died down, and light snow descended dropping delicate works of lace that melted as soon as they landed.
Aurora’s wings rose and crossed over their heads, effectively sheltering them from the snowfall. Song bled into her, the music quenching her dry soul for so long she had thought it gone forever. Lyric, he was here and she savored him and the moment as long as he let her.
Lyric struggled to keep his composure as all of his frustration came back to him. He remembered waking up with her gone. He had had no way to find her, not realistically. He remembered the sense of failure, followed by loneliness and anger, all of these things running into each other. "Shh. Don't apologize. It wasn't your fault." His voice was gruff, not so much with emotion but lack thereof.
Regardless, it was showing in his eyes. He observed her for a long second, his body craving her, but his mind... strangely blank. He didn't know what to think, what to feel, aside from disbelief. He didn't know how he had found her again. He had concluded that he wouldn't see her, not ever, that it was just going to be another mystery in his life. He had ignored his feelings for so long that now, when had the change to experience them at the fullest, they were absent. He was just relieved. Relieved that she was alright, relieved that she was his again.
"They didn't hurt you, did they?" Her wings rose to protect them from the snowfall. Lyric thought that they should find shelter, but his promise to Carter came to mind again. I'll be back tonight. He couldn't keep from touching her, her wings, her hips, her stomach, her face. His hands brushed back her hair, and his lips kept returning to hers, reasserting familiarity. The gestures were as feverish as they were possessive.
Last Edit: Mar 9, 2013 23:36:53 GMT -5 by Lyric Shikov
OH YOU WATCH ME STEADY, YOU WATCH ME WITH QUIET SINCERITY AND YOU HOLD ME HEAVY, YOU HOLD ME LIKE I WAS BORN TO BE HELD
Her head shook no in response to his question, her own fingers restless as they traveled his face, neck, and chest, her lips hungrily meeting his. She broke for a moment to look at him, her eyes memorizing his face, his expression. She smiled and laughed as she sat up and wiped the tears from her face before tucking hair behind one ear and snuggling close atop him. She concentrated on her breathing and closed her eyes.
When she had left the Fallen territory the morning before, she had left with the determination that she would find Lyric – and she had. Well he had found her. Incapable of keeping her eyes off of him long, she shifted to see him again and kissed him sweetly, her close mouthed smile genuine and her eyes softened with contentment.
Snow hand melted into her legs by now, and she knew Lyric had to be frozen. Part of her didn’t care about her pants, but her concern for Lyric was too much and she leaned down to rub her delicate nose against his and kiss him firmly before struggling to her feet and grasping his hand to help him to his. It was almost comical, and though she was sure her help was useless she tried anyway.
Once standing, she hugged him fiercely again repeating softly how much she had missed him. She closed her eyes, again joy and gratefulness she had never known emulating from her in an almost tangible fashion. Her dear Lyric, he was safe and she was safe. Somehow it did seem possible. With difficulty, she pulled away but smiled again.
Her smile fell as his expression changed, and she bit her lip. She knew what that look meant. Her arms went around his neck, and she said quietly in his shoulder, ”Why do we always seem to have to say goodbye?” She didn’t want to let him go. She couldn’t.
The instant she tugged her wrist away from him, Lyric remembered why he did not hope for anything. He didn't come to this conclusion morbidly, merely logically, his half-smile fading slowly as he came to take in the sight of her changed demeanor. Hope, he knew, set him up for disappointment. He wanted to reach out again, change the expression on her face, because he no longer relished this girl's pain. Instead, he remained stock-still, caught between feeling rejected and confused. Why was she suddenly pulling away from him, when mere moments ago she had been clinging? Lyric felt a hot flash of resentment, and also one of clarity. Was this unpredictability what she had to experience every time they met?
His tongue was thick. He couldn't talk, couldn't coherently think. His hand hung limp at his side. Lyric was full of these urges--to crush her to him, to turn and leave, and then he found that her hurting was suddenly unbearable. No. A single word had never come so close to breaking him, and his eyes were frozen as he watched her wipe at her own tears, trying to smile.
Why is she doing this? The thought was one thing he held on to, just for a second, and then it was gone. Lyric's hands found their way into his pockets, and his shoulders slouched. He looked very weary, then, in the night, strands of his hair hanging lank in his eyes. He felt weary, too, looking at this girl that he wanted to save and he had hurt so much. He didn't argue her, though. He didn't, because he couldn't. While he had felt compelled to find her, he had also felt compelled to distract himself--and now the ties of his distraction were pulling him harder than her ties to her. Carna. Who would have thought, that he felt so loyal to them in her absence? That he sought the closest comfort possible, and that comfort had been ambition?
He wanted more than what he had, and he didn't know what that was.
"I am sorry, too." Lyric had closed himself off to her again. His face was cold and harsh, but his voice was velvet. He meant the words he said, although he could not easily convey what he was thinking, because he was thinking that the two of them had been set up for condemnation from the start. His lips still burned from her touch, the memory mocking him. "I'll see you again. I don't know when, but... I will."
He tried to keep the harsh facade, but his resolve shattered when he saw what was in her eyes. "Stay safe for me, moy golubushka." He stood facing her, looking quite young with his posture and his expression, which was no longer stoic but uncertain.
Last Edit: Apr 19, 2013 1:41:15 GMT -5 by Lyric Shikov
OH YOU WATCH ME STEADY, YOU WATCH ME WITH QUIET SINCERITY AND YOU HOLD ME HEAVY, YOU HOLD ME LIKE I WAS BORN TO BE HELD
Wide black eyes watered, and Aurora looked down before he could see her tears fall. She bit her bottom lip in attempt to halt the salty stream, but the surprise of his grip around her wrist did a more thorough job. It wasn’t a rough hand, but she could feel the slight derision and frustration - and it made her uneasy. Without thinking, her wrist shifted against his thumb to break his hold and she took a step back in the snow.
A look of hurt and confusion was plain on her face, and her wings fluttered out anxiously as if ready for flight. She didn’t want to go back. There was nothing for her there but loneliness and the bone chilling feeling she was always left with when parted from him, but she knew she did not belong so near Carna either. Nakoma was not her home, but every time she was near Lyric she seemed to cause him pain, or problems, or danger.
A sob strained her throat, and her eyes spilled over with tears from the effort to remain silent. Taking a shuttering breath, she closed her eyes to collect herself. What could she say? There was a difference in him now, a direction, and drive. Before, he seemed caught up in the shifting winds. He was a pensive creature, often reflective in thoughts she knew nothing about, but it was different from the distraction that now seemed to sever their time together. What it was Aurora did not know, but she knew and cared about Lyric enough that if it matter to him, it mattered to her.
”No,” she said slowly and sadly. Opening her eyes she forced a sweet smile, wiping fingers across her face to clear the streaks running down her cheeks. She was not sure she wouldn’t break this instant, shatter into a million pieces … but he mattered more.
”I will go back myself. I just …” she hesitated, unaccustomed to lying. I just couldn’t stand being away any longer. I just wanted your arms around me. I just wanted to see you, I just …. pretend. She would just play pretend. ”I wanted to make sure y-you were okay,” the smile and shaky laugh could have been broken with the weight of a feather – but it held long enough for her to look down at her hands. They shook, and she put them in her pockets. It wasn’t a lie.
”I’m- I’m so happy you are alright, and I am so sorry,” her voice closed off into a whisper and when she looked up again her heart was in her eyes. Aurora had told herself that she had just needed to find him to make sure he was alright, and now that she did – she no longer had an excuse. There was so much she did not understand, but she knew it would be easier for him to be rid of her. It was selfish of her to keep him worrying over her constantly. This last time he had almost been killed over it, and she could never have lived with that.
The instant she tugged her wrist away from him, Lyric remembered why he did not hope for anything. He didn't come to this conclusion morbidly, merely logically, his half-smile fading slowly as he came to take in the sight of her changed demeanor. Hope, he knew, set him up for disappointment. He wanted to reach out again, change the expression on her face, because he no longer relished this girl's pain. Instead, he remained stock-still, caught between feeling rejected and confused. Why was she suddenly pulling away from him, when mere moments ago she had been clinging? Lyric felt a hot flash of resentment, and also one of clarity. Was this unpredictability what she had to experience every time they met?
His tongue was thick. He couldn't talk, couldn't coherently think. His hand hung limp at his side. Lyric was full of these urges--to crush her to him, to turn and leave, and then he found that her hurting was suddenly unbearable. No. A single word had never come so close to breaking him, and his eyes were frozen as he watched her wipe at her own tears, trying to smile.
Why is she doing this? The thought was one thing he held on to, just for a second, and then it was gone. Lyric's hands found their way into his pockets, and his shoulders slouched. He looked very weary, then, in the night, strands of his hair hanging lank in his eyes. He felt weary, too, looking at this girl that he wanted to save and he had hurt so much. He didn't argue her, though. He didn't, because he couldn't. While he had felt compelled to find her, he had also felt compelled to distract himself--and now the ties of his distraction were pulling him harder than her ties to her. Carna. Who would have thought, that he felt so loyal to them in her absence? That he sought the closest comfort possible, and that comfort had been ambition?
He wanted more than what he had, and he didn't know what that was.
"I am sorry, too." Lyric had closed himself off to her again. His face was cold and harsh, but his voice was velvet. He meant the words he said, although he could not easily convey what he was thinking, because he was thinking that the two of them had been set up for condemnation from the start. His lips still burned from her touch, the memory mocking him. "I'll see you again. I don't know when, but... I will."
He tried to keep the harsh facade, but his resolve shattered when he saw what was in her eyes. "Stay safe for me, moy golubushka." He stood facing her, looking quite young with his posture and his expression, which was no longer stoic but uncertain.
OH YOU WATCH ME STEADY, YOU WATCH ME WITH QUIET SINCERITY AND YOU HOLD ME HEAVY, YOU HOLD ME LIKE I WAS BORN TO BE HELD
A flicker in the depths, a change. It was the first time there had ever been a break between them, even from when they had first met – she could feel it, the undeniable alteration. There had always been a connection. Understanding. Now, it was slipping away as quickly as the ocean tide through mortal fingers.
I’m sorry too, he said and he was gone. A part of the girl, heedlessly of measurement cried out then; cried out as a frightened child, the bright candle gusted into darkness, but it was quieted by another portion however small. The part that knew, that knew it was not the way things were meant to be.
He asked her to be safe – for him. Aurora tried to deny the last request in his voice, but she could not refute the finality of the moment. Lyric had done all he could, and now things were different. His own path now beckoned to him, and the naïve girl scrambled to understand and accept.
Without speaking her expression changed, and she feigned the most fearless face she could collect. Like a dancer, she lifted to her toes, grasping a hand around the back of his neck and put her forehead to his as she whispered, whispered so quietly.
“The worst is over now, and we can breathe again. I want to hold you high, you steal my pain. There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight. I want hold you high and steal your pain. Cause I'm Broken when I'm lonesome, and I don't feel right when you're gone away.”
With liquid movement, Aurora’s hand slipped down his chest to grasp his hand. Looking up, onyx hues merged with his gilded eyes a last time more before the intensity was lifted with a sweet expression. Her smile spoke of understanding, her eyes of forgiveness … and the bitterness of letting go.
In a delayed echo, the words she spoke had been almost sing-song, breathed to her most precious friend’s ear for a last time. It was the first time she had sung in so long. Doubt was pushed to the back of her mind for she knew Lyric, and without every ounce of strength she could muster, he never let her go.
Aurora had not known this was goodbye when she sought him from the Fallen lands, but somehow she felt she had always been aware of it. Teeth seized her cheek for control, and the lithe, black winged girl turned then, and walked away. Each step seemed too hard, her feet too heavy as she headed north-east to Nakoma territory.
In Lyrics hand she left a simple silver chain. As a pendant was a rich, soft, black flight feather six inches long attached to its center, and a silver tag hand engraved with a single word: Pravda. Truth. It might as well said, do not forget me - but they did not need so many words.
It was her turn to be strong, and without warning she leapt to the sky, her wings pumping to lift her higher and higher until she vanished into the morning light. Aurora did not look back. Not once.
Her resolve would not allow her to, but as the miles passed beneath her wings she promised herself two things: One, that she would see Lyric again. Two, was that when she did – it would be as an Aurora he did not have to worry over – no matter the cost.
It was years of practice that kept his resolve. Lyric wanted many things in that moment, and he felt many more. Although, he lacked any sense of satisfaction. A part of Lyric had gone on believing that, once this (whatever this was) was over, he would be feeling a sense of closure and peace and... rightness. But now he felt none of that. He felt no satisfaction in her pain, not this time, nor did he feel satisfaction in the bitterness that welled up inside of him. He was aching with regrets. He wanted to say that, if the circumstances were different, then he would never say that he had to leave. That he would stay by her side and he would make sure things turned out okay.
Okay. That word was so fragile, and it made him ache even more fiercely. The circumstances weren't different, though. They had to play with the deal they had been given.
Her song only filled him with nostalgia for what hadn't left yet. He closed his eyes and just listened, for just a second, to something that was beautiful. When he opened them again, it was to see her face, strangely lacking the sorrow he expected to be etched there. She surprised him with her strength, in that instant. He expected something else from her; more sadness, more complaints. But instead she realized that there was nothing to be done.
It was quite simple, really. Lyric couldn't do what he wanted to do with her involved. He could not become an actual member of Carna. He could not involve himself, or rise in ranks, or any of those things.
Lyric had not even realized she was holding his hand, until, in the absence of her touch, he felt cold. He stood there, fists clenched, fighting for control. This was better, he reminded himself. This is what he needed. He wouldn't hurt her anymore, and he wouldn't be hurting himself, either. She just had to leave. And she did. Without looking back, without a pause in her stride.
It wasn't until she had taken off and was completely out of sight that Lyric raised the pendant she had left in his hand, the feel of the feather soft against his palm. He held it delicately, then, trying to push back the emotions that he was normally so good at keep submerged. But now they rose up, bitter and uncontrollable. He fell to his knees, peering down at the gift in his hand, struggling to remain himself.
Why do I do this? he thought, then. Why do I chase away the one thing that is good for me? He choked on his own breath, struggled to stand. He couldn't stay here, not alone, not where this demon would come back to him.
He had said no goodbye to her; he had given no last words, not really. And this he instantly regretted. She had given him closure, and he had given her none. He would pause to look at the pendant once more, just long enough to see the care that had gone into making it, before he looped the chain around his neck and shifted. The journey to Carna was silent, aside from the thudding of his own heart, the sound of his paws hitting the snow with each massive stride.
I'm sorry, too.
OH YOU WATCH ME STEADY, YOU WATCH ME WITH QUIET SINCERITY AND YOU HOLD ME HEAVY, YOU HOLD ME LIKE I WAS BORN TO BE HELD
